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Cold Sweat by Vera Valentine [Signed Copy]

Cold Sweat by Vera Valentine [Signed Copy]

$14.99 USD
$14.99 USD
Sale Sold out

Own the infamous Chill-Assist "Koolaid Man" Romance book, hand signed by the author, Vera Valentine! This sentient object romance paperback novella clocks in at 54 pages, has an amazing illustrated cover by Kit Fox, and will be signed in ink by the author on the title page. This product comes with vinyl stickers and a postcard sized art print, as shown in the product images.

Extras: Your signed book will come with TWO high-quality vinyl collector stickers, suitable for laptops, water bottles, and reading journals. One free image of the cover, and one "Make Me Your Good Little Cup" design, made by Unfortunate Reads. This signed book also includes a postcard-sized art print; a can't-show-you-here version of Kit's illustrated cover design...without the splash and ice cubes. ;)

Please note this is a ROMANCE book intended for grownups, and should not be purchased, read, or owned by minors. By purchasing, you are confirming you are at least 18 years of age, and/or of a legal age to own these materials in your state/jurisdiction.

Note: This book, associated promotional graphics, and the associated audiobook (sold separately) were all proudly created by HUMANS without the use of AI. As the sole rights holder to Cold Sweat, I do not give permission for any part of my work to be indexed or used in AI training, promotions, or products.

Please note: This is a 54-page novella, so the physical book is slender!

  • Pairing: MF
  • Standalone: Yes, HEA
  • Style: Sentient Object Romance / 18+
  • Content: This story contains step-siblings getting it on (they met as adults and have only been connected that way for a few years), a LOT of glass rod insertion, a LOT of punch in places it doesn’t usually go, discussions of anime, forced proximity (oh no stepbro we’re stuck in a sauna), overhearing parents getting it on, mention of parents imbibing alcohol, off-page drunken sex with a pallet of drink mix, unenrolling from college, sucralose, and Red Dye #40. As always, if you have any questions or concerns about story content, you’re more than welcome to contact me (Vera Valentine) on social media for clarification. Your comfort is way more important to me than page reads!


Blurb

Fleeing college pressure, Jules heads home to rest, recharge, and figure out a plan before fall break ends. Eager to spend time with her mother and stepfather, there's one presence she's less thrilled about seeing: Red.

The sentient, smirking pitcher of Cherry Chill-Assist Punch was a huge pain in the glass. He'd been getting under her skin for two years now, ever since their parents' wedding day. Red's taste in entertainment and weirdly suggestive commentary were driving her crazy, a destination she was capable of finding all on her own.

With big life decisions looming, his antics shake up Jules' already-fragile peace, steering her towards a leisurely evening in her mom's new sauna. It seems like the perfect remedy for stress...until Red invites himself along. Close, steamy confines have a way of outing secrets, and Red has a huge one he can't keep on ice any longer.

Will Jules be able to resist her thirst for the unknown, or will the truth about her stepbrother refresh her perspective entirely?

***

Cold Sweat is a PARODY MF sentient object romance novella between a human woman and a large, glass pitcher of Cherry Chill-Assist drink mix. No, that's not a metaphor. It's made of glass. Yes, I am referring to exactly what you think I am. Yes, this was written by the same woman who wrote the door one. And the balloons. And the boat.

At this point, you know what you're getting into, friends.


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